“I took the medicine and I went missing”

I’m trying, but I’m graceless
Don’t have the sunny side to face this
I am invisible and weightless
You can’t imagine how I hate this…

I won’t bother saying just stop me if you’ve heard this all before, because if you know me, then chances are, you have definitely heard this before…If you could just slip inside my head, it would certainly save me a lot of time trying to explain the past few months to you…Lately, “Luci, U gots some ‘splaining to do” (a la Ricky Ricardo ) has been stomping through my mind…so I knew it was time to crawl out of my igloo and wave hello to you from my frozen island…and I will explain things…soon…maybe tomorrow…I’ll try-I promise that I WILL try.

This nasty winter has nearly fucking killed me, and it just seems to keep coming back again and again, like a fucking horrible loop of frigid death. I desperately  need to be somewhere else before the snow begins to fall again. I seriously don’t think I can survive another winter.

This song defines MY Mind perfectly, so push ‘play’ & scroll down to see the irritating .gif I made last night after playing around with the camera on my Nexus 7…I must have had some crummy ‘texture’ setting turned on during some of the photos, which would explain the horrible quality…Regardless, it at least serves as proof that I’m still alive…(more or less), right?

I’ve missed U and I love U so.

Graceless
Is there a powder to erase this?Me
Is it dis-solvable and tasteless?
You can’t imagine how I hate this
Graceless

I’m trying, but I’m graceless
Don’t have the sunny side to face this
I am invisible and weightless
You can’t imagine how I hate this
Graceless

I’m trying, but I’m gone
Through the glass again
Just come and find me
God loves everybody, don’t remind me
I took the medicine and I went missing
Just let me hear your voice, just let me listen

Graceless
I figured out how to be faithless
But it will be a shame to waste this
You can’t imagine how I hate this
Graceless

I’m trying, but I’m gone
Through the glass again
Just come and find me
God loves everybody, don’t remind me
I took the medicine and I went missing
Just let me hear your voice, just let me listen

All of my thoughts of you
Bullets through rotten fruit
Come apart at the seams
Now I know what dying means

I am not my rosy self
Left my roses on my shelf
Take the white ones, they’re my favorites
It’s the side effects that save us

Grace
Put the flowers you find in a vase
If you’re dead in the mind it will brighten the place
Don’t let them die on the vine, it’s a waste
Grace

There’s a science to walking through windows
There’s a science to walking through windows
There’s a science to walking through windows
There’s a science to walking through windows without you

All of my thoughts of you
Bullets through rotten fruit
Come apart at the seams
Now I know what dying means

I am not my rosy self
Left my roses on my shelf
Take the white ones, they’re my favorites
It’s the side effects that save us
Grace

Beginning the search for myself, again…

~Lucia

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