“It’s True I Am A Villain When You Fall Ill…”

Today was one of those days that began with good intentions, but tripped shortly after the starting line and didn’t bother getting back up.

It was cold, but Nile and I braved the razor sharp wind chill and went to the nearest shop for something, though neither of us knew what we were going to actually get. As soon as we left home, I nearly stepped out into traffic, which earned me a huge lecture from Nile, though I tried convincing him it was the head cold making me do something as stupid as stepping into the street without looking both ways, however I’m pretty sure that he’s probably already looking for a retirement home to dump me in due to my unpredictable dangerous behavior.

Once we were in the store, we were at a total loss as to what to buy since the entire store is basically junk food and pork products. At one point, I parked the cart and said ‘let’s just go, there’s nothing here’, but after a strange, spontaneous laughing fit between the two of us, we decided to buy stuff for homemade pizzas. It wasn’t hard because I’m a simple tomato and onion sort of pizza person at the moment, but I’m really picky about cheese-I dislike the low moisture skim milk stuff-I’d rather have the really bad for you whole milk cheese- the  wet, juicy cheese that melts gracefully on the pizza and stretches gorgeously and tastes like real cheese, rather than lie there playing dead upon the crust the way the low fat cheese does. But in the end we both decided on the healthier, much less exciting skim cheese (and of course it had NOTHING to do with the fact it was another mile or so to walk through  23 degree windchill for the real deal yummy cheese).

While at the pork/junk food hole in the wall dump, I ran into an old friend from school, and tried my hardest to carry on a sensible conversation in my froggy voice and my walking blindly into traffic state of mind, but I think it came off as awkward as it always is for me to carry on a sensible conversation…I tend to say things out of order, like when the conversation stopped suddenly halfway through-I decided to say something as awkward as “So… How ARE you?” and I speak in strange tones-it’s my ‘Jeff Goldblum’ mode, as my family calls it-and yeah that actually IS a compliment because he’s pretty freaking awesome, but he makes being awkward MUCH cooler than I ever will.

Some of my happiest times are when Nile and I cook together, because that’s when he really opens up about whatever is going on in his world and with his circle of friends, so today was a great opportunity to catch up and to have really awesome pizza (The guys are New York style pizza people, and I’m totally Chicago deep dish).

So the first part of the day was decent, good even…but the rest of the day sort of fell flat and refused to move… or even crack a smile, regardless of my attempts, so I did really mundane work for the remainder of the day, and coughed uncontrollably-wishing I had a really, really powerful medicine to knock this fucking cold out of here once and for all.

There’s a book I need to tell you about from a writer I met over two years ago-a wonderful Romanian writer with an incredibly kind soul who listened to me ramble on and on in my horrible English (aka Lucia-speak), but never once complained and always responded promptly…and he actually finished his book, so for that alone he deserves my admiration. It was one of those situations where time passes and life walls you in by building tiny piles of rubbish around you, and intended emails get pushed aside until one day, you feel its too late to reply and you lose touch-which always makes me sad, because there’s nothing worse than losing someone you’ve really talked to.

So at the top of  my to-do list tonight is searching through my email folders and finding the link  to his book. If you happen to be reading this Cezar, I definitely didn’t forget about you or your book, I’m just trying to catch up-to come out of the cell in my head…once again.

OK, I’m tired of typing and my throat hurts and I’m feeling really ick from the continuous coughing…so I’m shutting up for now. Today is definitely a day for this song, but you’ll have to click the link since the fuckwits won’t allow embedding:

cough… cough…wheeze,

~Annabel Lee


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