Okay, here we go…

I’m not sure where to begin, and maybe it isn’t time to go too deep into things. So for now, I’ll fill U in on the tiny cracks of my world instead. I’m still not “ok”, and I have to get a Lyme disease test on either the 11th or the 18th. I’ve put it off for years-NOT because I am so afraid of having Lyme, but because if I don’t have it, then it’s time to face MS and I really don’t want to do that. But Chin Up and Soldier On Girlie-right?

I haven’t written in the past week-instead I’ve being fighting a useless fight-kicking a dead horse…waging war on regret or something to that effect. Oh, and I’ve been told that I may have social anxiety disorder, which makes it so very hard to let things-people-go-even when they want to go. This, apparently has something to do with the lightning quick exit my father took out of my life when I was 4. Anyay, I’m not ok right now, so I hope you’ll forgive me for not replying-but I can’t tell U how much your emails mean to me-really, they make me smile, even now (see photo below for the proof) As soon as I can, I’ll make it up to you and perhaps return a little joy. If I write something, U’ll be the first to know. I still need to put words to J’s beautiful music and I wanted to share a review I did-my VERY FIRST music review-which was quite easy-because the musician is oh so talented-maybe I’ll put it up tomorrow. For now, I’m going to indulge in a little self-pity and hope my silly ears stop aching and ringing so I can actually listen to music-which is always my Linus security blanket and I’m really in need of some security right now.

By the way, does anyone know what happened to Eric? I haven’t heard from him since September (?) and he hasn’t updated Porchdroid since the beginning of December. Maybe U should all go have a look (and a listen to the latest song he left for everyone in his post) and tell him I miss him,ok?

Boy, I really need to get into something creative, don’t I?

Right, first pity-then perhaps something worthwhile…

This is me right now. See? I told U that I could still smile.

 tonight-again2

That’s it for now, I think.

~13

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One Reply to “Okay, here we go…”

  1. Lovely to see you smile. Dont worry words will come when they are ready. You will know when its right . It sometimes takes me minutes or as much as years to finish a song or piece of music . Smiling is good for you. J

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