‘She has U, she got U now…’
I spent the weekend staring at a blank sheet of paper-Nothing came…not a single word. American Darkness was with me, I could feel her-but I could not catch her…In frustration, I slept…I drew pictures of a sleeping woman hidden within the branches of a tree…. I practiced with charcoal, I popped prescription painkillers like candy for raging premenstrual cramps (I’m 99.9% certain God’s gotta grudge against me for that little mishap in Eden, although I’m obviously Team-Lilith, not the precious Team-Eve).
By Sunday, I’d made progress, but only just. There was an occasional sugary phrase between pills and chocolate, and I spent the day exhausted and discouraged with my head aching and my mind and my body conspiring against me… I even punished my painful head by avoiding the Internet completely; that is until a few hours ago… That’s when I heard the music Eric’s created for American Darkness, and that was exactly what she’d been waiting for! I put the music on repeat, and began typing like a mad woman.
Now, here it is-6:30 in the morning, and I’m once again exhausted-but blissfully so, because Darkness has finally spoken, finally said exactly what she wanted to say in her slippery language. Yes, she’s still completely autobiographical, but she didn’t push me into writing my own obituary in the end, as I had feared she was going to do.
So, I’ve worked hard all night and now I’m half-dead and its time for more pain-killing joy. After I sleep, my first priority will be sorting through her words, organizing it properly, recording it and sending it off For Eric to twist into something deliciously dark and beautiful. He really has outdone himself with this one…Do you know how creepy it is when someone a kazillion miles away can slip so easily into your head and compose your song?? Beautifully-deliciously creepy, of course.
Later after recording, I’ll catch up on emails.
Wish me sweet dreams. ~13